Monday, January 20, 2014

Who are we?

Are we important though validation of others? Do we need that?
How do we define ourselves? How do we know who we are? Do we need society or it's just enough to    know who we are by confiding in ourselves? How do we do that? Through relationships?
Relationship...one freaky stuff...for me...because of intimacy...being naked..full of sheet...and I am, really...
When does validation occur? Doing the right job, as expected. But when you are full of sheet, people do like you ? Which people? In the same misery? Misery seeks company..
We are born to be awesome, not perfect..I read somewhere on facebook.  I guess it's true, we all are. Actions makes us imperfect. And I like that. Facebook, where everyone gets in contact online. Isn't it a bit sad? New world, tech world. I miss the old get in touch and real relationship. Less, but true. Now we get info, stroke with a like and give a hint that we are in touch, but isn't it too synthetic?
Last friday, I got to an anniversary and I called old friend to join. A hug did a 1000 words and emotions. Why do we miss this in the tech world? Aren't we a bit more and more fakes?????

Who cares?

After I had a drink and smoked I cigarette..I asked myself a new question: who cares about me? Who cares if I am alive or death?
My first people who came into my mind, was my family, my mother and father..Why they cared about me? Was I an exponential of their beliefs? Was I something better cumulated from each of them? Why did they care that I am here into this world? They told me I am the reason for their existence. Why? Why do I have to be a reason for them? Why do people bring babies into this world? Except their natural reproductive urges? Parents put all investment to their children to promote themselves? This can be a big, hard baggage.They have expectancies from their heirs to be everything they couldn't be. And this is repeating over and over again. IF they are not, it's causing a big disappointment. Are we some kind of fake entities of what parents are expecting us to be? Do we please our parents and make ourselves miserable or we follow our own path of judgement even if it's in complete contradiction with their wishes, and so be declared as outcasted? In some scenarios seems we cannot be aligned to both worlds, we choose either being in alignment with parents or ourselves.
I see progress in defending my own judgement, but this can be in contradiction with parents and society expectancies. This is me naked.
I ask myself why should I breed kids? To perpetuate my beliefs? Wrong. To give a chance to develop part of me, further? Maybe. Even they will not be in consensus with me? How many parents ask themselves this questions before creating a new being, with regard to enable a new entity to develop just as is, to support regardless, to do not criticize, to accept and encourage it's own path, even against it's believes?
Why should anyone care about me, except my parents, if I am alive of death? For whom I am important and why? WHO cares about me, seeing me naked, full of mistakes and imperfections? and most important WHY? I am interested in answers....

My life...thoughts randomly..winter night of 20-21/01/2014

In a winter night, which doesn't seem like other nights, I asked myself: what it is it about life? what is the mission in our life? why do we have a life?
In other words, what meaning do we do about our life? What meaning do I make about my life?
Why do I ask this question at this point in my life? How come I have this question? This is an old question and I asked myself in several moments in time...Is it a specific moment, when we ask ourselves this question?
I was born in a big family, my parents had several sisters and brothers, my grand parents had several sisters and brothers, and family seems very big when I just was a child discovering so many people around, coming to family events, eating, drinking and asking a lot of questions and asking to show myself, like telling poetries learnt in kindergarden, or telling about myself where I did succeed...all were  events to show off myself. I was the show and everybody was looking and expecting the amazing things I was able to do..but nobody wanted to know about how I was feeling about that, what were my things I didn't succeed. How come? In real life things that are changing you are the things you cannot get, things that you missed. But, the whole attention is drawn by the things you are good at.
What about the other stuff, the hidden, the failures, the lessons learnt (beautifully mentioned as the core for progress, for true learning)? Why people don't encourage to learn from mistakes ?
Looking back, the success is for showing the others how good you are, how strong, how perfection is brought into completion. Everything else looks like a damnation.Why don't we speak about that as kids? At least, being naked and show yourself...
The essence of what I am trying to say is that the universe of my feelings is very complex as a child, and the one with the label "bad" are encouraged to "do not express". As a consequence in living the world a a child to one labeled as "bad" are hidden and building up or in a best scenario they are transformed into some expression, understood by me. Can take different forms of transforming energy: building up a magical world, intensive work-out, doing things for proving myself that I am worth, I am good etc, leading me to have a parallel existence into I felt safe, unpunished..a dream world, in which I was excepted naked...a world build up just by my mind.
Two different world co-existing together until I want more, until I want to be true to myself.
Later on, those beliefs are confirmed by society, being accepted if you are strong, up to date, perfect delivering, and you are encouraged to go further..and the game continues...
What is at some point this two worlds need to be one? Looking for the conflicts in those worlds, which are pretty different, if not opposites in some points. Some people might think they never know me. I dare to say, they are at some level of ignorance or they never really care to see more.
Then the first changes occur, some old are staying, some old are leaving, new are coming.
I don't care for those who leave, but I am interested in the one to stay. Here we get to friendship. True friendship.
At this point I'm having trouble to seek who is my friend. And I am not referring to those which whom I haven't chat for some time...but those who were able to see me through...those who welcome my fears, my tears, my mistakes, my misunderstood, those who can see me naked and still can see ME. Those who can accept me with seen and unseen, those who can see the human being in me, full of sheet, and still able to say: I am near you when you fall and be there still for the next steps
We all grow through are experiences. We succeed and we fail. We learn more from our failures. Why? Are we paying more attention to not repeat them? We forget success quick, I don't even bother to celebrate, it's common sense. But when I fail, I celebrate big time..spending hours and hours seeking where and how could it go wrong..punishing myself and getting energy to move for the next step...and finally, if it's there, I feel I don't feel to celebrate, because it has been done already in advance.
The joy is the journey, not the successful result. While succeeding, I know the journey it's come to an end and need to seek for the next journey. Celebration for success it's kind of mourning to me, I feel sad and happy at the same time. Sad to end, happy for a new start, for a new change and challenge.
What are the roles of memories..keep you warm when you're old? Or just memories? It's better living the present, living into here and now I might be happy...actually, I am, in my secret world :-)
I guess the alzheimer is a bless for the person who has it, less for the others around.
Mind setup will be the new concept of the future, upgrade-able as a computer program.
But. until then, I need to be naked. Let's see where it takes me...




Monday, October 21, 2013

Transactional Analysis Event - Eveniment AT - Bill Cornell & Mick Landaiche in Bucuresti

Informatii despre workshopul sustinut de Bill Cornell si Mick Landaiche cu tema "Explorari in Analiza Tranzactionala: Confruntari furtunoase si foamea de structura" din 23-25 nov. (detalii mai jos)

Locatia care va gazdui evenimentul este Sala Agat de la Uzin-International Conference Center, Bd. Iancu de Hunedoara nr. 8 (fostul sediu CITIBANK), foarte aproape de Piata Victoriei.

De asemenea va anuntam ca workshopul va primi credite de la Colegiul Psihologilor din Romania si ca mai sunt 4 locuri disponibile.


EXPLORARI IN ANALIZA TRANZACTIONALA: CONFRUNTARI FURTUNOASE SI FOAMEA DE STRUCTURA
23-25 Noiembrie 2013

Putem privi atat viata, cat si practica profesionala ca fiind o serie de confruntari furtunoase – confruntari cu propriile noastre emotii intense (pierdere, rusine, teama, nebunie); cu dinamicile complexe ale grupurilor din care facem parte (abuzuri de putere, esecuri de leadership, transgresiuni ale limitelor); si confruntari cu potentialele mai perturbatoare ale relationarii intre oameni (jocuri mortale si adaptari de personalitate, transferuri toxice, introiectii generatoare de nebunie). Pentru a veni in intampinarea nevoii noastre, de multe ori intense, si a foamei de structura de pe durata acestei confruntari, Eric Berne ne-a lasat o teorie si o metodologie de practica aplicabila intr-o varietate de medii de lucru si pentru o gama diversa de obiective personale. Care sunt punctele forte ale structurii sale? Care sunt punctele ei vulnerabile ce pot declansa un proces de prabusire sicare au, astfel, nevoie urgenta de a traversa din nou etapele de proiectare, construire si crestere? Ce anume ne ghideaza calea si lucrul prin furtuna confruntarilor cu care avem de-a face?
Acest workshop de trei zile va explora experientele perturbatoare atat de centrale vietii, capabile sa insufleteascasi sa tulbure in acelasi timp? Vom extinde notiunea de structura dincolo de aspectele pur cognitive, pentru a include manifestarile ei ancorate in concret, incluzand aici rolurile si functiile sociale. Acordand atentie relevantei pe care aceasta idee o are in plan individual, de grup si la nivelul vietii comunitare, vom aborda contributiile aduse de Berne, precum si de alti practicieni AT contemporani, alaturi de alte perspective teoretice (relatiile de obiect, sistemele familiale, teoria invatarii, psihoterapia corporala, si asa mai departe). Participantii sunt rugati sa aduca exemple ale propriilor confruntari perturbatoare, precum si propriile experiente personale cu structura. La fel ca in workshop-ul de anul trecut privind trauma, vom lucra atat in grupul mare, cat si in grupuri mai mici simai intime.
Acest workshop este deschis persoanelor dornice sa invete, indiferent de varsta, nivel de experienta si training, domeniu de practica profesionala (de exemplu, organizational, educational, clinic, etc.) sau orientare teoretica.

Vom incepe demersurile pentru acreditarea acestui workshop cu credite de la Colegiul Psihologilor.

Inscrierea va fi limitata la un numar de 30 participanti.

Pentru detalii suplimentare, precum si pentru inscrieri, va puteti adresa persoanelor de contact: Nicoleta Gheorghe (nicoleta.gheorghe@yahoo.com) sau Diana Deaconu (dianadeaconu@gmail.com).

Orar: 9.30-18.00

Cost:
675 RON
Taxa de curs este destinata in exclusivitate platii trainerilor si organizarii cursului. Implicarea organizatorilor cursului si a Mindroom este voluntara, non-profit.Participantii la intreaga serie de workshopuri din cei trei ani vor primi o reducere de 15% la cea de-a treia participare.

Modalitati de plata si inscriere:
Inscrierile se pot face prin completarea formularului de inscriere pe care il veti primi luand legatura cu persoanele de contact - Nicoleta Gheorghe (nicoleta.gheorghe@yahoo.com) sau Diana Deaconu (dianadeaconu@gmail.com) - si achitarea unui avans de 450 RON. In acelasi timp cu formularul de inscriere veti primi si detaliile legate de modalitatile de plata.
 

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

wednesday..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUtaLeQqB40

Tuesday...

I'd rather be surrounded by people who describe themselves as "crazy" than the one who describe themselves as "normal". The first ones might accept the differences as natural while the second would measure everything to their standard.

This morning, I didn't want to get up
Got up and watched through my window
It's a rainy day, again..
Sweat tears of the sky touching my face...
Why shouldn't I stay and dream all day?

Monday, January 28, 2013

Living...on monday

We are living our lives every day. We are solving all king of issues every day. How concious are we that the list of problems matches our priorities? How do we know that we always keep in mind our big picture of live and we go the road that we really choose? Is it worth to spend time with one person, leaving out the other one? How do we know we made the right choice?
Is it worth to spend time doing over and over the same routine, knowing we just keep the daily balance and it might just take us to surround our own circle of life? Why do we need that? What do we need our own comfort zone? To rest from time to time, to take out time to think of new approaches or just because we are used to it and it makes us think we are the king of the world in this set of references we choose to name as our world? Is it really necessary to do that?
How much change we can take at once? How much degree of uncertainty can we manage?
Does the level of uncertainty define our level of comfort?
What is the level that we start learning and what do we need to move on, to accept the uncertainty of this world as it is and just explore it?
How come that when we are uncertain we decide to set up barriers? WE create the illusion of known, having in mind although that this is what we created.
We do fear unconditional love, we do fear uncertainty, we do fear everything which we do not known...even more than the things we experienced and caused us pain. There is a mix of excitement in fear, coming from the unknown result. There is an illusion that it might be different, and sometimes it is. Therefore, keep an open mind and channel your energy towards the other beyond judgement. You might have some big time surprises. Be limitless, as you are by nature.